The Essences of Change

What is essential to achieve actual change? A number of principles are a precondition for moving forward. There is no hierarchy in this. Read on and experience what this does to you...

Mindful Distance

You are not what you think you are. You are not your thoughts, emotions and actions. Not your beliefs, behavior, assumptions or memories. So stop identifying yourself with it so that ego doesn't have to maintain and defend all of this.
Rather, mindfully distance yourself from your thoughts and emotions. 
Connect with them in a neutral and friendly way so that you can observe it, become aware of it, and make other choices.

Life as a Mirror

How do you see a situation? Are you sure the way you see it is correct? Often what you see says a lot about yourself. If you become aware of this, you can learn about yourself. So don't say 'he makes me angry', but 'apparently I let myself get angry'. 'The other person is doing something that apparently touches the anger that is in my system'. Now you can ask yourself: 'Do I want to be touched by that other person's behavior? Is the other the subject of my life or am I subject? Then you can make a decision and start tinkering with yourself, as it were, or reprogramming yourself. Here is a strong overlap with the next essence: taking influence or ownership.

Ownership

​It doesn't matter if there's a storm, you're the captain. What are you doing? Do you dive into the hold to hide? Do you get mad at the wind and the waves? Or do you take the helm and do something with the sails? 
The latter gave Nelson Mandela the strength to keep his mental filters clean during his long captivity. 

It doesn't matter what other people do to you. You cannot change them. What you can change, however, are your filters and your way of seeing things. If you take responsibility for your filters, your mindset, your feelings and your behavior you will be able to change yourself. And then other people around you may also change because a new space has formed between you and them.

What can you do with this? 
The above basic principles are like the legs of a stool. Together they ensure that the stool does not fall over. They provide a stable and healthy basis to work on. You don't have to fully embrace these ideas just yet. They don't have to live fully for you yet. It is okay that you are open to these visions in order to be able to make a real change. In that case we can work together.​

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